Light of The Life

Farewell 2019 For a new door to open You must close the old door.  For a new day to arrive You must let go of the old days. Goodbye past It’s time to live in the present.  Goodbye mistakes  It’s time to collect the lessons. Goodbye guilt It’s time for forgiveness. Goodbye sad It’s time for happiness. Goodbye if It’s time for will (InshaaAllah). Goodbye wish It’s time to make it happen. Goodbye later It’s time to act now  and keep going. Goodbye fear It’s time to show courage and embrace the challenge. Goodbye dark night It’s time to let the sun shines. Goodbye comfort zone It’s time to fly higher. Let the memories remain For bad memory is a teacher to guide you For good memory is a friend to cheer you up Let bitterness be the medicine  Let time be the healer Let hikmah be the comfort  Remember, ever...

Assalamualaikum WBT... Alhamdulillah, after countless of time ignoring the whispers in my heart telling me to write, here I am now, writing up my thoughts. As I said before "Reading is like breathing in and writing is like breathing out". And before I suffocate myself, I should breath out to let more air in.  Alhamdulillah, I am still alive, I am still breathing. I think I am witnessing myself transformed a little for the better, I hope. May Allah makes it easier for us to be a better servant each day. Insha-Allah. Now, rather than punishing myself for my mistakes, I am more understanding, more forgiving to myself and focus more on the solution; on how to stand up again and be better each time. It may sound easy for some of you, but that is the most difficult thing for someone who has been struggling to manage their perfectionism which often backslashes. It took me years to accept the fact that I have that toxic perfectionism in me sometimes. But being understand...

It’s November 12th, 2019. I am now a 4th year PhD student. Since the past few days, weeks, and months, I knew that something was not right with me. But I keep ignoring that, trying to stay positive by telling myself “I am OK, I am fine, I can get through this”. I thought if I keep saying that to myself, someday everything will be fine, and I would be healed. It’s only a matter of time. But, that is just temporary and isn't the solution. I ought to find a better solution. Only today I learned that there are two types of positive thinking after listening to Aiman Azlan feat Aida Azlin’s podcast. I was in the first group of positivity. I guess it's time to change to the second group, a true positivity! The first type is being positive by ignoring the negative thoughts and dismissing your emotion. You feel sad, but instead of accepting the feeling and acknowledging the feeling, you keep telling yourself “I am good, I am fine”. Being positive this way isn’t solving the main pro...

Assalamualaikum... It's been a month since my last entry. I could hardly breathe in the past few weeks. My life was quite eventful. Alhamdulillah, at least I have lists of things to do, I have something to look forward rather than waking up in the morning feeling clueless and hopeless, not knowing what to do, where to go... Yes, I fell into the trap again, I failed to react calmly... I still struggling to keep my complicated mind optimist and calm. Why? I guess because there are plenty of things in life I didn't understand and importantly I still not fully know myself. Why? Because in life we constantly facing unique-different circumstances, and each time, there is always something new to learn. That's why people say, learning is a lifelong journey. That time, I am facing things that I haven't fully understand and thus not properly and strongly build in myself. So, don't get disappointed too much if you get shaken or if your reaction was a bit off when facing a ...