Following The Truth & Abstaining From Falsehood

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Ya Rabbi.. berat sungguh hembusan nafas sejak beberapa hari ini. Ya Rabbi.. ampunkanlah hambaMu yg lemah ini.. yang penuh dengan beban dosa..

Terlalu banyak nikmat Mu padaku.. Namun diri ini masih terlalu kurang syukurnya.. Masih lagi lalai dalam mengingatiMu.. Masih lagi lemah dalam pergantungan padaMu..

Ya Rabbi.. kerana banyaknya nikmatMu aku telah kecapi, maka xsepatutnya  aku merintih saat ujian dtg melanda.. Kerana ujian kali ini juga pastinya membawa hikmat dan nikmat.. Namun, diri ini sungguh tidak berdaya.. lalu gugurlah air mata buat sekian kalinya..menadah tangan tunduk mengadu padaMu..

Ya Rabbi.. tidaklah aku mempersoalkan takdirku.. Kerana Engkaulah Yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik buat hambaMu.. Setiap takdirMu pasti hadir bersamanya seribu hikmah yang hati ini seringkali khilaf dalam menilai..

Diriku ini sangat lemah tanpa pergantungan padaMu.. Diriku ini hilang arah tanpa petunjukMu.. dan akhirnya hilanglah ketenangan dalam diri ini..

Ya Rabbi.. sungguh aku tidak tahu bagaimana harus aku corakkan langkah kaki ini.. Aku dapati diriku tersepit dalam konflik diri dalam usaha menegakkan agama dalam diri ini, memang bukan mudah nak menjaga agama ini..

Namun bukankah telah jelas.. Al Quran dan Sunnah Nabi SAW adalah panduan hidup kita? Maka kembalilah padanya wahai diri.. Cari lah semula hati mu yang hilang melaluinya.. Kembalilah bersujud padaNya di malam hari..

Ya Rabbi.. tiada yang lebih memahami segala isi hati ini dan segala yang aku lalui melainkan Engkau Ya Allah.. 

Ya Rabii.. sukar sungguh memahami hati ini.. sukarnya membezakan antara yang benar dan yang salah, membezakan antara hasutan nafsu dan bisikan naluri petunjuk dariMu.. Ya Rabbi, berilah aku kecelikan hati untuk melihat yang benar dan kekuatan untuk mengikut yang benar itu.

Ya Rabbi.. Engkaulah yang memegang hati-hati setiap hambaMu.. tetapkanlah hati ini pada jalan MU...

Ya Rabbi.. sebaik-baik panduan adalah Al Quran & Sunnah Nabi SAW.. kurniakan aku kelapangan masa untuk mempelajarinya dan kekuatan untuk mengamalkannya pula.. 

Oh Allah, I believe that You only wants good for me. I will try to work on absorbing that reality deep into my heart and mind. If I do believe in that, what follows is transformative; husnul thaan billah. This means to always having good opinion of Allah and knowing that everything He is doing in your life isn't happening "to" you. It's happening for "you"..

I love listening to these songs by Maher Zain.. Really suits my situation at the moment..

I believe 
~Maher Zain~

When you searching for the light 

and you see no hope in sight

be sure and have no doubt, 

He's always close to you

He's the one who knows you best

He knows what's in your heart

you'll find your peace at last

if you just have faith in Him

ALLAH your always in my heart and mind

Your name is mentioned everyday

I follow You no matter what 

my biggest wish is to

see you one day

coz I believe

I believe, I believe

do you believe

oohh do you believe

coz I believe

In a man who Used to be

so full of love and harmony

he fought for peace and liberty

and never would he hurt anything

he was a mercy for mankind

a teacher till the end of time

No creature could be compared with him

So full of light and blessing

MUHAMMAD your always in my heart and mind

your name is mentioned every day

I follow you no matter what

if God wills we'll meet one day

coz i believe

I believe, I believe

do you believe

ooohh do you believe

If you lose your way

believe in a better day

Trials will come

But surely they will fade away

If you just believe

What is fantasy just open your heart

and let his love flow through 

I believe, I believe, I believe 

and now i feel

my heart is at peace

coz i believe 

do you believe?

...

Setiap insan diatas muka bumi ini berjalan pada paksinya sendiri, berjuang menghadapi cabaran tersendiri.. Oh Allah... guide me in my journey to You.

Guide Me All The Way
~Maher Zain~

I know that You could easily

Take away every thing You've given me

And I try to remember

Not to take anything for granted

‘Cause I know that one day

Suddenly this will all come to an end

So my last wish is for you to be pleased with me

Allah, Ya Allah

Guide me all the way to your Jannah

Ya Allah, Ya Allah

Don't let me go astray 'cause I need you

By my side, I wish to be close

Close to You throughout my life

Ya Allah, oh Allah!

Be with me all the way

I know that sometime I do

I do forget that my last breath could be the last

Forgive me 'cause I can't thank you enough

Forgive me when I doubt your love

Now I pray for that day

when all this stops and comes to an end

So my my last wish is for You to be pleased with me

Allah, Ya Allah

Guide me all the way to your Jannah

Ya Allah, Ya Allah

Don't let me go astray 'cause I need you

By my side, I wish to be close

Close to You throughout my life

Ya Allah, oh Allah!

Be with me all the way

Day by day passes

And I think that my time could be near

So I pray: O God let this world be in my hands

And not in my heart

‘Cause soon I'll have to leave it, 

‘Cause soon I'll have to leave it

Allah, Ya Allah

Guide me all the way to your Jannah

Ya Allah, Ya Allah

Don't let me go astray 'cause I need you

By my side, I wish to be close

Close to You throughout my life

Allah, Ya Allah

Guide me all the way to your Jannah

Ya Allah, Ya Allah

Don't let me go astray 'cause I need you

By my side, I wish to be close

Close to You throughout my life

Ya Allah, oh Allah!

Be with me all the way

Guide me all the way

Don't let me go astray

...

And another song 'Forgive Me' that really struck me. Oh Allah, please forgive me..

Forgive Me
~Maher Zain~

I'm about to lose the battle and cross the line
I'm about to make another mistake
And even though I try to stay away
everything around me keeps dragging me in
I can't help thinking to myself 
what if my time would end today, today, today
Can I gaurantee that I will get another chance
before it's too late, too late, too late

Forgive me
My heart is so full of regret
Forgive me
Now is the right time for me 
to repent, repent, repent

Am I out of my mind?
What did I do?
Oh, I feel so bad
And everytime I try to start all over again
my shame comes back to haunt me
I'm trying hard to walk away 
but temptation is surrounding me, surrounding me

I wish that I could find the strength to change my life
before it's too late, too late, too late

Forgive me
My heart is so full of regret
Forgive me
Now is the right time for me 
to repent, repent, repent

I know, Oh Allah, you're the most forgiving
And that you've promised to always be there
when I call upon you
So now I'm standing here ashamed of
all the mistakes I've committed
Please don't turn me away and hear my prayer
when I ask you to

Forgive me
My heart is so full of regret
Forgive me
Now is the right time for me to repent

...

CABI - MRI Lab
13.04.2019
Nur